Richard F Crawley III

I have not posted in awhile, very little since I began working at Growmark, Inc. in October.  Part of it was settling into a new job — working my knowledge and skills into the job and adapting to the long commute.  Part of it was the struggle to remain in our home.  A struggle, we lost in March.  Part of it is really being burned out on computers and technology… basically my career path.  Part of it was the arrival of our son, Lennon.  A healthy boy, born on his older brother’s birthday.

Within this mix of changes, I turned 40.  And when any one of the birthdays after 30 places you into the beginning of another decade of life, you cannot help reflecting on the life you have lived and compare it with the life you had hoped to live.  You also cannot help asking yourself questions that you may not have honestly asked yourself in years — heck, decades.

The questions can probe anything.  They may lead to new insights, goals, and directions.  They may affirm the life you have been enjoying.  They may reveal every major lapse of judgment you have made in your life.  You may find answers.  You may find more questions.

The important thing is you come away from the questions with the answers, goals, and plans that will take you into the life you want to lead.  Allow the answers to form your perspective on your life.  Set your goals and plan the steps that will lead toward achieving them.  And let the rest of your days be your renewal.

And as for me…  I am focused on returning to running after several years of being sedentary.  I am focused on writing fiction and screenplays, as well as writing on my blog.  I am focused on my relationships with my wife and children.  I am focused on making more money for my family’s needs.

“Mid-life is the old age of youth, and the youth of old age.” — a proverb

As one year ends and another begins, many people decide to make new year’s resolutions and set goals to aspire to over the next 365-366 days. It serves to give meaning to or create change in the next year of one’s life. For many it may be taking up an exercise routine, losing weight, quitting smoking, eating healthy, etc. Also for many, these resolutions are forgotten not long after with the hangover of New Year’s Day. Read the rest of this entry »

Three years ago my wife surprised me on Christmas Eve with a used 1990 Ford Ranger XLT pickup truck. I had been without a vehicle for over a year and our family just had a Dodge Neon to shuttle us around. The addition of the $1,000 truck gave us some flexibility in providing for our family’s transportation needs.

There was no beauty to it. It simply served to get me to work and back. If it turned heads, it only did so in surprise that such a vehicle could be running. And it did run…

Until this morning when it gave up its ghost, its drive shaft, parts of the clutch assembly, and rear differential broke apart over some very large bumps near the El Paso, Illinois exit on Interstate 39 as I drove to my job in Bloomington.

With the recent foreclosure of our home and the lack of funds to repair the vehicle, we are again left with only one vehicle, our family van.

If only Santa would be so kind as to leave me his sleigh and reindeer this Christmas.

Happy holidays!

Twenty-seven years ago tonight (December 8, 1980), I was a 12-year-old boy sound asleep in my bed. That night was the last night of my life where death held no reality in my life. That innocence died the next morning when my mother awoke us for school with the news that John Lennon had been shot and killed outside his apartment in New York late the previous night. Read the rest of this entry »

My wife, my 10-year-old daughter, 2-year-old son, 1-year-old daughter and I are in very real danger of losing our home. The foreclosure sale is scheduled for December 5 at the county courthouse unless we can come up with $6,000 of the $18,000 in arrearage. Read the rest of this entry »