I have used Ubuntu Linux for years. I enjoy using Ubuntu, but the problem I have had lately is that my hardware has aged. My desktop runs on an AMD Duron CPU. My laptop runs on an Intel Atom CPU. My next desktop will likely run with an Intel Atom. I do not have a need to be cutting edge. I simply have a need to be able to work from my computer… writing, surfing, emailing. Nothing more.
Ubuntu worked well for years, but I am tired of it not working after a fresh install or breaking after an upgrade. On the desktop, it is usually due to my NVidia video card. I do not have the time or patience to track down fixes.
Debian, on the other hand, works. I may spend time upfront configuring a few things, but I find it works and updates/upgrades smoothly.
So I contemplate switching from Ubuntu to Debian… Am I alone in this consideration?
I finished the major draft of my spec script and began eliminating unnecessary scenes, compacting it, and fixing a few ambiguities in the story. I estimate 20 hours of work left until I can comfortably let it be read.
The problem is finding the time. I lost my IT job, which helped me finish the story. But put a severe financial strain on my family. So I really need a job. Really need a job. I submit applications and resumes almost daily. My location is not a hot bed for IT jobs and in this economy it really sucks.
But how is it I don’t have time to write when I am out of work? My wife is working full-time toward a bachelor’s degree in nursing and working part-time on the weekends as a CNA at a nursing home. We have four children. The youngest three are four-years-old, almost three-years-old, and 17-months-old. Interruptions never seem to cease. At their ages, they do not understand Dad is at work. They see that I am at home… with them!
So I write when I can. When I don’t have time to write, I carry around index cards and jot down ideas when they come or most often, when I resolve a scene transition or a stubborn scene. I have written scenes on index cards. I have also done late night and all night writing sessions. Whatever it takes. Writing is my profession. It just does not pay the bills yet. I forgo some sleep, but hey… I still function well enough that the kids know I am awake. Like me sleeping would prevent them anyway.
John August had a recent post on writing. I agree fully with his views. To be a writer, be professional and write. It is that simple.
After years of ignoring my need to write, I now know it is what I have to do. There was a void in my life not being filled by earning paychecks doing jobs that seemed to suck the life out of me. Writing fills it.
What bothers me is that my family is now financially caught in this creative gamble that is a spec script. It may end up breaking my family. I am willing to drudge through more IT work. But I am more than willing to go to the edge for my craft.
When I take that next step, I hope my family has climbed upon my back. I am taking that step for them.
I just signed up for Script Frenzy 2009. If you want, track my progress in April.
It will be a challenge to fit the needs of work and its daily 2.5-hour commute (damn job), family (blessed part of my life), and running (training for an October marathon) in with the time needs of writing 100 pages of comedy. As I type this my day-away-from-one-year-old son squirms upon my lap, my 2-year-old daughter hovers behind me, my day-away-from-four-year-old son pops in from time to time to ask plaguing questions, and my 12-year-old daughter surfs indifferently on her mother’s computer… and I fixed supper for the family (my wife is working a double shift at a local nursing home).
Why add more activity to my day when it is full already? Because I must. I am tired of IT. That’s information technology. Not it. I have put aside writing for too long. Almost 15 years of telling myself that I will write when this or that happens. Well, it isn’t going to happen unless I make it happen. Writers write.
Fifteen years ago, I had a short story nominated by an editor for an Illinois Arts Council Award. He told me he almost nominated it for a Pushcart Prize. I had completed a novel-length manuscript and numerous short stories fifteen years ago… and I stopped submitting my work for publication. I went fifteen years looking for what life could give me and lost fifteen years of seeing what I could give to life.
What the hell am I attempting to say? If you consider yourself a writer, write. If you are a web developer, break the browser and then go back and fix the page that broke it. If you work IT, be an IT worker. If you are a student, study. If you are a teacher, strive to teach your students and not just earn a paycheck. If you are an artist, push yourself and your art to its limits. If you are a parent, be that guiding force, that upstanding example for your children to emulate as they grow into themselves. If you are a musician and/or singer, make everything you produce an exploration of music’s soul. If you are a politician, be a damn statesman or stateswoman and use your own mind instead of your party’s hive mentality.
In short, everyone, simply be professional. Use your given talents to develop other talents in yourself and in others. Don’t rest.
You only get one revolution in this frenzied life. Happily make the most of it.
I have not posted in awhile, very little since I began working at Growmark, Inc. in October. Part of it was settling into a new job — working my knowledge and skills into the job and adapting to the long commute. Part of it was the struggle to remain in our home. A struggle, we lost in March. Part of it is really being burned out on computers and technology… basically my career path. Part of it was the arrival of our son, Lennon. A healthy boy, born on his older brother’s birthday.
Within this mix of changes, I turned 40. And when any one of the birthdays after 30 places you into the beginning of another decade of life, you cannot help reflecting on the life you have lived and compare it with the life you had hoped to live. You also cannot help asking yourself questions that you may not have honestly asked yourself in years — heck, decades.
The questions can probe anything. They may lead to new insights, goals, and directions. They may affirm the life you have been enjoying. They may reveal every major lapse of judgment you have made in your life. You may find answers. You may find more questions.
The important thing is you come away from the questions with the answers, goals, and plans that will take you into the life you want to lead. Allow the answers to form your perspective on your life. Set your goals and plan the steps that will lead toward achieving them. And let the rest of your days be your renewal.
And as for me… I am focused on returning to running after several years of being sedentary. I am focused on writing fiction and screenplays, as well as writing on my blog. I am focused on my relationships with my wife and children. I am focused on making more money for my family’s needs.
“Mid-life is the old age of youth, and the youth of old age.” — a proverb
As one year ends and another begins, many people decide to make new year’s resolutions and set goals to aspire to over the next 365-366 days. It serves to give meaning to or create change in the next year of one’s life. For many it may be taking up an exercise routine, losing weight, quitting smoking, eating healthy, etc. Also for many, these resolutions are forgotten not long after with the hangover of New Year’s Day. read more…
